After the Pepperland column of March 6 (about hitchhiking to church), I got this anonymous letter in my P.O.:
 

Dear Mr. Pepper,

Do I read you right?  You are trying to impress the public with the fact that you are a churchgoer, and therefore all good Clarion readers should follow your good example:

1)  Spend your last penny on doughnuts; the preacher who spent hours studying Gal. 6 is not worthy of one's measly leftover 19 cents.  Fill one's own belly first.

2)  The waitress who doesn't go to church could not possibly be interested in God, therefore, don't invite her to church.  Don't leave a tip for her, either; she doesn't go to church on Sunday morning.

3)  Instead of jogging to church or calling someone who has a car with gas, scrounge off a naughty man who doesn't go to church on Sunday, but wears work clothes and smokes sinful cigarettes.

4)  James Baldwin's quote from The Fire Next Time:  "If the concept of God had any validity or use, it can only be to make us larger, freer and more loving . . . " applies only to Bethany church members.  Bethel students like us can forget it.  We are above such nonsensical concepts.

5)  Sunday church-going is to criticize others.  It is not really meant to stimulate a meaningful God experience for one's self.  J.C. really meant we should be pepper, not salt, in this needy word.

Thanks for the tips on Bethel ethics.  Now I know how to act next Sunday.

Your classmate
 

P.S.  I'm curious about one thing.  Did you try the Blessit blast on the Rose Bowl kid and the no-church-go man?

Dear "classmate,"

The answers to your questions are "No" and "No."  Now, on to your accusations:

(1)  Touché!  Score one for you.

(2)  Mister Donut forbids tipping.

(3)  I like to hitchhike.

(4)  Huh?  What are you trying to say?

(5)  Sunday church-going is to stimulate a meaningful God experience.  This column provides the opportunity to pepper.

That puts the score at three for me, one for you, and one doubtful.  You lose.

You're welcome.